Friday, November 13, 2009

Life has been explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God agreed......
 


On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."


The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God agreed...... 


On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

And God agreed again...... 



On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God. "You asked for it."

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.


Thursday, November 12, 2009

11 things they did not and will not learn in school - Bill Gates

This should be posted in all schools, colleges and workplaces, 
Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.




Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!


Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.


Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.


Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.


Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.


Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.


Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.


Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.


Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.


Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.


Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

GoGola - very imaginative

A gola (ice-candy) shop near Hingewadi - IT park of pune - very intuitive and imaginative

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Enjoy the coffee ...

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor.

Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.


When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.

Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it." 

Don't let the cups drive you... Enjoy the coffee instead

Monday, November 9, 2009

Bathtub test

During a visit to the mental hospital, I asked the Director 'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be admitted to the hospital.' 


'Well,' said the Director, 'We fill up a bathtub, and then we give a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.' 


'Oh, I understand,' I said. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.' 
























'No.' Said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the drain plug. 


Well... Would you prefer a bed near the window?'

Sunday, November 8, 2009

HOW TO IDENTIFY DIFFERENT CITIES OF INDIA...Don't miss last one

Scenario 1
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, then a fourth and they start arguing about who's right. U are in Kolkata 

Scenario 2
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes along, sees them and walks on. That's "Amchi Mumbai"... busy place dude...

Scenario 3
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes, along & tries to make peace... The first two get together & beat him up. That's Delhi

Scenario 4
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch. A guy comes along and quietly opens a chai-stall That's Ahmedabad.

Scenario 5
Two guys are fighting and a third guy comes. He writes a software program to stop the fight. But the fight doesn't stop b'cos of a bug in the program. That's Bangalore.

Scenario 6
Two guys are fighting. A crowd gathers to watch.
A Guy comes along and quietly says that "AMMA" doesn't Like all this nonsense. Peace comes in. That's Chennai.

Scenario 7 
Two guys are fighting. Both of them take time out and call their friends on their mobiles Now 50 guys are fighting. You are DEFINITELY IN PUNJAB !!!

Scenario 8
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes along with a cartoon of beer. All sit together drinking beer and abusing each other and all go home as friends. You are in Goa.

Scenario 9
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes and resolve their fight with the help of others passing over their. You are in the Heart of India (M.P)...

And the best one is here…………………

Scenario 10
Two guys are fighting. Third guy comes from nearby house. And says "aamchya gharasamor bhandu naka, dusarikade jaun bhanda". That's Pune for sure !!!

Friday, November 6, 2009

What should I do to marry a rich guy?

MINDBLOWING THOUGHT PROCESS!!!

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:
 

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?
 

I'm going to be honest of what I'm going to say here. I'm 25 this year. I'm very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I'm greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I've dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York CityGarden(? ), $250k annual income is not enough.


I'm here humbly to ask a few questions:
 
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
 
2) Which age group should I target?
 
3) Why most wives of the riches is only average-looking? I've met a few girls who doesn't have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys
 
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)


Ms. Pretty




Awesome reply:
 
Dear Ms. Pretty,


I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I'm not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you're trying to do is an exchange of "beauty" and "money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square. However, there's a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can't be prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It's not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If that is your only asset, your value will be much worried 10 years later.


By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a "trading position". If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term - same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or "leased". Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.


Hope this reply helps. If you are interested in "leasing" services, do contact me...


signed,
 
J.P. Morgan
 


Forwarded By: Pradnya R.